Friday, June 14, 2013

The tension of free time

Scott packed up himself and the boys for a trip to see Grandpa and headed out early Thursday morning. It has just been me and Analise for two whole days.

Breakfast with my best gal.

The time has definitely been refreshing. Yesterday, I cleaned the house from top to bottom, and today it is still (mostly) clean! After my cleaning marathon I invited a friend over for munchies and wine on the deck to enjoy what was a most beautiful evening.

Playing Outside 
Lunch at McDonalds

Today Analise and I played outside and made a run to Wal-Mart, and I hosted a coffee with some of my dearest friends. I even had the time and energy to pull out my Grandma Bjorgan's Blue Willow dishes and a pitcher and glasses that were my Grandma Anderson's and put a little creative energy into the table setting.

There are a hundred things I still want to do. I'd like to go through my old Mary Kay products and get them out of boxes into tubs that are easier to go through and store. I'd love to get another organizer for the garage and transition the "pile' of stuff that is on one side of the garage so it is nicely organized like the other side. I'd love to get to trimming the lawn so my husband doesn't have to do it next week. I need to run to Costco and Trader Joe's to pick up this week's stock of groceries and I have 3 and a half books I'd like to read!

All of that said, it has been a little too quiet around the house the last two days. I experience this any time someone graciously "removes" all three of my children for a period of time. As much as I long for time to myself when they are here, when they are gone I feel a sense of loss ... an emptiness. A part of me is unsettled and uncertain until they return with all of their energy and life and enthusiasm.

The irony is that takes me a good half a day to even figure out why I feel this way. It isn't as if I'm sitting around imagining what my children are doing without me or pining for their hugs and kisses. It is  just an odd, unexplained feeling that is only resolved when they walk in the door again.

I guess for all of my wondering, I really do love these not-so-"tiny humans." Whether I like it or not, a piece of my heart goes with them wherever they go and I'm not quite right until they return.