Friday, June 29, 2012

To Pause

"Our doing flows out of our being, and that it why it is necessary for us to learn to pause." 
Seven Sacred Pauses
Macrina Wiederkehr

Today is my day.

It is the day to myself I earn by caring for dear friends' children on Thursdays in a fair but sometimes crazy child care exchange.

And each Friday I am tempted by the pressure to make the most of it.

So, when by noon on said Friday I've finally meandered my way home from dropping off my children at 8 a.m., it can be tempting to feel I am wasting the day.

Bringing coffee and goodies and checking in with a bereaved friend.

Hanging out in a garage man-cave, listening to retold stories, refusing to be concerned with the passing of time.

On the phone, catching up, laughing, exchanging grace and peace.

Yet, over the course of the morning something new and different emerged.

Those details that kept me wide-eyed Wednesday night in my urgent need to plan and prepare suddenly took shape and fell into place.

The silence so heavy and dark sprung to life with quiet whispers and nudges.

I wasn't planning to work today. I felt the sorrow of my wilting spirit and knew it needed space to breathe.

And in doing so, I made room for His Spirit.

And by His Spirit, all things are made possible. 

Stymied efforts resume. Ideas come forth. And grace abounds.

I always feel such pressure to do.

Yet, the greatest things come when I simply step back and receive that which has been prepared.

That to which I am called.

"Humbly let go. Let go of trying to do, let go of trying to control ... let go of my own way, let go of my own fears. Let God blow His wind, His trials, oxygen for joy's fire. Leave the hand open and be. Be at peace. Bend the knee and be small and let God give what God chooses to give because He only gives love, and whisper surprised thanks."
One Thousand Gifts
Ann Voskamp